


The Shoe Box Under the Bed

by gsaiguy



Series: Saturday Nights at 3 A.M. [1]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Other, Smoking, Trans Michael Mell, Weed, boyf riends - Freeform, if u squint, it's mostly platonic - Freeform, they're like 15
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-21 18:37:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17048480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gsaiguy/pseuds/gsaiguy
Summary: Michael smokes weed for the first time. Jeremy Shows up and things get emotional.





	The Shoe Box Under the Bed

**Author's Note:**

> I head-canon Jeremy with a stammer, let me know if it's offensive in the way that I wrote it.

2:57 A.M.

Michael couldn’t sleep, but that was hardly a rare occurrence. He stared at the ceiling and remembered the little plastic bag stashed underneath his bed in the Shoe Box he kept all of his secrets. 

It was after school last Monday, Michael approached Dustin Kropp with a wad of cash in one hand and a crumpled up note with a name, a phone number, and some instructions in the other. They were behind Dustin’s car.

“How much for three grams?” He said, shoving the note in his pocket and snapping his fingers. It was a nervous habit he’d picked up from Christine.

“Thirty-five,” Michael quit his snapping, pulled out the cash, and shoved the rest into his pocket. He was starting to sweat.

After the exchange, Michael sped back to the school grounds just where his bus was pulling up, got on, and went home.

Brown eyes glanced at his alarm clock once again, 3:00 A.M. He groaned, pushed himself out of the stupidly bright colored duvet, and dug under his bed for the shoe box. He loaded up a pipe, and went out to the fire escape. There, he sat down on the grated landing. It was cold out, goosebumps rose on his arms and legs as he lit the bowl, and inhaled. The smoke tickled his lungs and he let out a short cough as he exhaled.

His phone buzzed next to him.

**‘hey r u awake’** The text was from Jeremy. He rolled his eyes and picked up the device.

**‘When arent I lmao..’** His racing thought started to subside as the high began to kick in. He felt a small pressure in his head, so he put down the pipe.

**‘can i come over’** Michael started to worry again. Why was Jeremy asking to come over at-- What time was it? -- 3:37 A.M. of all times? His leg began moving as he replied to his best friend’s text message.

**‘I guess so.. Whats wrong?’**

**‘good cus im kinda already outside lol’**

Michael shot up, his head spinning lightly as he rushed back into his room to shove the weed back under his bed. He then rushed to the door and let Jeremy in, leading him to his dimly lit bedroom.

“Dude you look like hell,” Michael stated bluntly before he could stop himself. Jeremy let out a sad chuckle and looked Michael in the eyes.

“I always l..look like h..hell, M..Micah,” Jeremy’s stammer was worse than it usually is. “Dude you sm..smell like you rolled a..around in a f..field.”

Michaels heart stopped. He racked his brain for an excuse, but found nothing. Jeremy started to sob.

“Ugh- I- sh..shit,” Jeremy covered his face with his hands as he choked and cried. Michael handed him a box of tissues. “I’m s..sorry, I j..just- Mom l..left and d..dad won’t stop crying-”

“Whoa, whoa. Hold on, Jer. Your mom left?” Jeremy sadly nodded his head. His face scrunched up and he started sobbing again. Michael urged Jeremy to sit down on the obnoxiously bright blue comforter. He patted Jeremy’s back and rummaged his thoughts for something to say.

“Wanna get high?” He cursed inwardly. Why did he just say that? Jeremy is crying and Michael just asked him to do drugs. Jeremy’s breathing stopped and Michael heard him swallow loudly.

“Y..you mean l..like-” Jeremy paused. “Dr..drugs?” Michael laughed awkwardly and gripped the duvet beneath them.

“Um, yeah, I guess I- shit. Not like, um, Heroin or anything. It’s just weed. I mean- Yeah I guess weed can totally be bad for you.  Um especially since I guess I’m- we’re only fifteen. But, like, It won’t kill you.” Michael’s breathing became shallow and he started to snap again. Jeremy put his hand on Michael’s back. “I- um- I bought it like a week ago from, uh, Dustin Kropp. The senior? Um… yeah, He’s, uh, he’s Christine’s cousin.” His fingers were starting to cramp.

“I m..mean, I guess I t..trust you, M..Michael,” Michael looked at Jeremy and quickly got off his bed to pull out the shoe box. Then, he led Jeremy out to the fire escape where Michael had been only fifteen minutes before. He handed the pipe to the nervous teen sitting next to him. Jeremy glanced at Michael curiously.

“I have n..no idea what I’m d..doing,” Michael laughed, then lit the bowl for him.

“You, um, you cover this hole with your thumb, and, um, you suck in for like, I dunno, five seconds? Then take your thumb off, but hold it in your mouth for a few seconds, or it’ll tickle your, uh, your throat and you’ll um, cough, pretty badly,” Jeremy did as he was instructed, and let out a puff of smoke. He still coughed. 

“I’m moving, Jeremy.”

Jeremy’s eyes widened as he whipped around to look at his best friend. Michael quickly corrected himself.

“No not, like, away, just, um, to a different home. My mom’s can’t, um, afford this house anymore so we’re going to, um, live with my mamá’s mom. It’s uh- it’s actually closer to the school so I won’t be going anywhere,” He forced out a chuckle. “I’m going to really miss this house, though.” Before he knew it, Michael was crying.

Michael hated crying. His throat got tight, his head started to pound, his eyes started to sting.

“I always complained about this dumb apartment because it’s dirty, and the sink is always dripping, and the showers are always too cold, but I love it! I love my room and I love hearing Mom and Mamá laughing at whatever TV show while I’m in my room because its small! I like small Jeremy! My nanay’s House is too big, Jeremy! I have to live in the unfinished basement where you can see the pipes and hear the sump pump every 30 minutes because nanay’s got too many people living upstairs!” Tears were flowing freely, Michael was never this emotional about something so seemingly trivial. “I like that it’s just me, my moms, and my dumb fish but now it’s going to be me, my moms, my nanay, and like five other family members who won’t even call me by my name, Jeremy!”

Michael took the previously discarded pipe and took another hit. He laid down and angrily put his hands over his eyes, pressing into his skull until he saw stars. It hurt.

“I’m sorry.” He finally muttered. Taking his hands away from his face and looking up at the grated landing above them. Jeremy had since laid down beside him. 

“I guess we’re b..both a little sc..screwed up right now, h..huh?” 

Michael let out a watery laugh.

“Yeah, I guess we are.” He took another hit as he watched the sun rise over the buildings of the city. He glanced at the clock on his phone 

6:11 A.M.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first thing I've written for myself in years.  
> This is based off some personal stuff and is mainly a vent.


End file.
